Vinceland

I’ve been here since late March and I’ve realized some things about Portland, Oregon that other people will agree and disagree with. They are truths in my mind until someone convinces me otherwise. Feel free to convince me, I’m listening.

• Portland has just enough racial diversity to make me feel like I’m not in Whiteville, Vermont any more.
• Portland is just big enough to make everyone here feel like they’re truly metropolitan.
• Portland is just easy enough to get around that it’s not annoying.
• Portland homeless people are just respectful enough to earn a little respect.
• Portland is just outdoorsy enough for outdoorsy people and half-outdoorsy people to feel like they live in an outdoorsy place.
• Portland has just enough seedy, sketchy, windowless bars for bikers and true alcoholics to have a great time.
• Portland has just enough great restaurants to have a “food scene”.
• Portland has just enough “big money” jobs with companies like Nike and Intel to be attractive to people who need to make big money.
• Portland is just close enough to beachy areas on the Oregon coast to make it worthwhile to drive to the Oregon coast.
• Speaking of the coast, the surfing on the Oregon coast is just good enough to keep a large group of surfers stoked on surfing in Oregon.
• Portland has just enough cool people living here that I am friends with to make it somewhat comfortable to live here.
• Portland has just enough of a mix of weather and seasons to make it bearable for a dude from the East coast which is all about the seasons.
• Portland has just enough access to extreme sports activities that some extreme sports companies consider Portland to be the next extreme sports mecca.
• Portland has just enough redneck activity to make this place feel downright comfortable.
• Portland has just enough (sort of) affordable houses and cheap rent available that this place is considered livable.
• Portland has just enough funky, hippy areas with funky, hippy people living in them to be considered kind of a funky, hippy place.
• The rivers that flow around and through Portland are just clean enough that they are not considered by the general population to be dirty.
• The fishing in and around Portland is just sweet enough that serious fisherman of all kinds get stoked every day to get out on the water when they can.
• I am not positive, but I believe that the Portland education system is just good enough to be considered decent, and not much better. There are abandoned schools here.
• Portland has just enough good music coming through that residents never really need to travel to see great live music.
• Portland is just cool enough that when I tell people I live here now, they say “That place is cool, huh?”
• Portland is just green enough to be considered sustainable, which makes me feel better, even though I consume a lot of non-sustainable stuffs.
• Portland has just enough cool places to visit, drink, watch movies, see music and have fun that I don’t think we’d ever get bored here.
• Portland is just easy enough to get home from that it does not feel as far away from home as it is.
• Portland feels just safe enough to be comfortable, but has just enough violent crime to be careful.
• Portland has enough technology, web and creative firms with action happening that the place feels kinda creative and techy.
• Portland has enough mountainous terrain (on several volcanoes) that’s within a day trip that people here can feel like they live close to the mountains.
• Portland roads are just smooth enough that they are not super annoying.
• Portland’s roads and highways make for just enough varied routes to the same places that residents can rightly claim “It’s pretty easy to get around Portland.”
• There is just enough bike-wielding, public transportation-riding, hybrid-hippie action in Portland to make me feel slightly guilty about driving a small, US-made SUV to work and everywhere else I need to go, every day.
• There are just enough roadside coffee shacks in Portland to consititute an over-abundance of places to get a coffee in Portland.
• Portland is home to just enough sushi places that if you get violently ill from one of them, there’s a few others to try out when the craving hits next time.
• Portland people are just stoked enough on the “neighborhood scene” here that the whole neighborhood thing in Portland is kind of annoying. It’s just one damn town and it takes 10 minutes to get anywhere here, so who cares what’s in your neighborhood? Mine’s better.
• Portland has just enough sunny weather in the Summer that people who live here consider it a nice place to live weather-wise, even though it rains straight from October to April, or more.
• There are just enough semi-celebrities living in and around Portland for it to be pretty neat. I heard Gus Van Sant lives here, so that’s kinda neat.
• There are just enough strip joints in Portland that…well if that’s your thing you can get plenty of it here.
• There’s just enough of an art scene/ gallery situation in Portland that the art’s not too shitty.
• Portland is home to just enough vegan/ whole foods crazies that the whole “healthy living” society thing has taken hold here in almost every neighborhood. But there is still good meat/ fasties joints here too.
• And I may add to this list, but finally… There are just enough really cool things/ people/ places and stuff here that the place feels like it inspires people to do cool shit more often than uncool shit.