Vinceland

(HINT: Click on images for a larger view.)

I remember growing older and slowly coming to the realization that there were only some aspects of my life I could completely control. As time went on, I gained control over more things in my life. That’s what growing up is.

The frustrations of growing up generally revolve around the things you believe you can control, and come to find out through mistakes, punishment and pain, that you cannot. Eventually, you give up control over those items in favor of the things you’re given complete freedom with.

It was your parent’s job to monitor this freedom, and only give you access to control (or feel control) over some aspects of your life. In High School, I remember being given more control over my course schedule, and the feeling that gave me. I decided on more art, english, writing and less Social Studies (What the hell is Social Studies, anyhow?) and Science.

Those were my decisions, and although much of high school revolved around following rules, this bit of freedom really helped motivate me and I enjoyed my time in school more. Once in college, this freedom was launched in a very real way. And from day to day, our decisions determined our fate. Some people sank, and some swam. My college roomate just floated… in a pool of Budweiser.

As a thinking adult, I’ve earned the right to have opinions, and to form them about everything that comes up in daily life, right or wrong. This is my freedom. I think what I think and I know what I know. I also know what I don’t know. And I am happy to let anyone know what I think and what I know because it’s simply true.

Growing up, almost everything was out of my control. Getting older, I took control of as much of the things in my life as I could, good, bad or boring. I learned about elements of life and living that are out of my control. And those elements of life that live out of my control are left alone. Along the way, I decided not to fight to gain control of them. Maybe that’s a lazy decision, but it was one that allowed me to become better at the things within my reach.

I know plenty of people who keep that which is under their control close at hand, and forget about the rest. I also know people who fight to gain control of things that will never be theirs. These people are wasting their time, as well as the time of people around them. All they are doing is honking in traffic, raising the level of everyone’s frustrations, helping no one.

I think my attitude towards the control factor came from two big insights, both of which were solidified towards the end of college/ early working years:

1. That Time is short and therefore precious for all people.

2. The Universe is larger and more important than all of us.

True freedom (and hopefully, happiness) is really only gained when you come to terms with your minute role on Earth. Once you come to terms with the fact that unexpected occurrences can bring a swift end to your days here, you will have an easier time controlling that which you can on a day to day basis. It’s a raw, hard truth to understand, and even harder to come to grips with.

Here’s an example: Scientists have proven that no matter what happens on Earth, even if Humans figure out a way to preserve the planet and live in harmony, in about 500-700 million years, the Sun is going to die. That’s not going to be a pretty experience to live through.

Prior to all water on this planet boiling and evaporating into the atmosphere, the surface of the Earth will become so hot, there ain’t no Nike, Adidas or Gravis shoe that will keep you from melting into a pile of mush. Sorry, Charlie, you are NOT what you own and at that point, the Earth will own you once again.

So why all the negativity and apocalypse talk? It occurs to me that if people understood the two Insights above, and they combine that understanding with an intimate knowledge of what their roles are in the World (IE: What they are most in control of), people might leave each other alone and focus on what they can offer that is positive for everyone.

Life is like a big SAT test and we’re all sitting in the same room with sharpened #2 pencils.

Here are the Rules:

• Did you forget your pencil?
• Did you remember your eraser?
• You have a limited time to get through the test, but you’ll never know when your time is up.
• Everyone around you has the same test and has to give the same answers.
• Quickly answer the questions you know the answers to first, then go back and spend time on the ones you’re not so sure about.
• Asking your classmates for help is permitted and encouraged.
• It’s only cheating if you take the answer from someone else without being granted permission.
• You can get up and leave the room for a break at any time.
• You can put your pencil down and quit the test at any time as well.
• You are allowed to stop, discard and begin a new test at any time during the testing period.
• You are allowed to retake the test later, if you have time left during the testing period.
• Your score will not only be based on correct answers, but also the percentage of questions you tried to answer, whether right or wrong.
• Someone will grade every test, whether complete or not, and maybe you’ll find out your score some day. (Chances are, somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ll know how well you did.)
• The whole class will be graded on the same, simple scale, that is never fully revealed.
• It’s not a contest, so there are no winners and losers.

In this situation, you only really have control over certain things, so you’d might as well make the most of it with what you know in the time you have.