Vinceland

I didn’t coin the phrase “Girls are the new Guys.” It might have been Denis, I can’t remember. But over and over, this theme has been repeatedly evidenced in the behavior, attitudes and general outlook of the ladies that are around me. It’s possible that no better example of this theory exists but in the very woman I call, my wife.

Call it empowerment, call it equality, call it women’s liberties, call it Grrrrrrrrllll. From what I can tell, ladies are owning shit, and making sure everyone else knows about it. And if you don’t know, or don’t care to know, they could care less, they’re still going to go their own way. They’ve got their own money, their own jobs, their own opinions, their own cars, their own lives, and if you want to be along for the ride, you’re welcomed, if you can keep up.

Don’t believe me or get what I’m sayin’? Next time you’re at a party around Portland, see who’s drinking the most, dropping the most spent butts in the bucket, dancing the hardest come 2am, or making the loudest raucous. I’d guess the dudes at the party were either watching sports on TV, cleaning up after the girls, or passed out already. Are the guys around here turning into wusses?

Maybe it’s just Portland that affects the boost in confidence in these women? But everywhere I go around here, I see, hear and bear witness to girls acting “like guys”. I am talking about girls that have professional careers, are young, have dough, with or without children and making the big decisions with all the power that the dude used to have back in the day.

I think it’s all coming together for girls who have talent, confidence and money, to spend time doing what they want to do without worrying about convention, old-school rules or someone telling them what to do. In a social sense, they are going to use the freedom they have to the fullest, and if that means pissing some people off, so be it. If that means dancing and drinking and talking shit out loud, so be it. If that means expecting more of everyone around you, from potential mates, to potential employers, so be it.

With confidence, comes power. With power, comes responsibility. With responsibility, comes expectations. With expectations, comes performance. With performance, comes confidence. And so it grows…

You might know a girl who falls in this category if you’ve experienced any of the following behaviors:

• Frequent use of 4 letter words at volume.
• Very little restriction on word use/ sensitivity in conversations, regardless of the members in the conversation or those within earshot.
• Can you say “Earmuffs”?
• Has very high expectations of those who work with and those who work around her. If they can’t live up to the standard, they’re left behind.
• Keeps their standards high for the men they meet and chill with, and making sure those below the standard barely get the time of day.
• Frequently in the midst of doing real estate deals, beating up on car salespeople, and interviewing for new careers in different cities, on the company’s dime.
• Did I mention the increased alcohol consumption, that in comparison makes most of the guys look like rookies?
• Tend to work in fast-paced, creative environments, driving projects from start to finish, with men in tow, and most of the time taking full responsibility for success of the project, both creatively and financially.
• Not letting motherhood slow them down in the least. IE: Drop the kids off at a friend’s house, head out for a weekend with friends. Want to go out to a swimming hole? Baby is coming along and will sit on the bank. Want to work from home on creative projects and sell them over the Internet? Make it happen during nap time and after the kids and hubby go to bed.
• Leaving stuff around the yard in random places (clippings, flower pots, gardening gloves)
• Leaving stuff around the house in random places (shoes, mail, clothing items)
• Generally leaving stuff around.
• Recently joined “Moms Who Rock” and generally rocks.
• Uses the phrase “I don’t give a shit.” quite often and actually doesn’t.
• 3 Words: Mike’s-Hard-Lemonade
• Wants to drive your new car/ truck more than you do.
• Uses Flickr, Wordpress and Blogger more than you do.

It comes down to this: If you want something, there are ways to get it. If you have the confidence to go get it, it can be yours. From a new kitchen to a new career, to a new hot tub to a stiff martini, girls I know will either go get it, or tell someone to go get it for them. And more often than not, they get what they want. Decision making with confidence is turning girls into the “new guys”. Careers and time and money seem to facilitate the behavior. And it’s pretty fun to watch and call them out on it.

Call me what you want, I don’t ever feel threatened by the girls who are the new guys. In fact, I am glad they all have their own things going on. Keeps everyone happy and productive. And if your manhood feels threatened by any of this, I know a few ladies who would shout out a big, “Well, f%#@ you then!”.

Crapped out a crappy essay with the same title back in the late 1990’s attempting to explain why I was beginning to dislike riding a snowboard after working at Burton for a few years. I was confessing publically to Glebelands, letting them all know why I didn’t care to ride as much as we used to. I was making excuses and they all called me out on it.

The truth was that snowboarding hurt too much. It fucking KILLED my feet and I was totally out of shape and unable to keep up any more. When I was younger, riding at Magic or Bromely on the weekends, I’d unstrap after each run in complete, utter pain from cranking my feet into flat, plastic baseplates with plastic straps and buckles. I’d let my feet “breathe” on the ride back up the chair, keeping a wry smile aboard and trying to stay up with conversation through the pain. By the time we reached the top, my feet were either numb or back to a normal state, ready to be bashed again, pushed on as hard as possible to hold an edge. I was able to keep up and even feel good about riding.

The end of the end came when Burton stopped making boots and bindings that fit me, and I turned to customization every year to keep up. One season, desperate to keep up and keep riding with my brethren, I strapped into some new step-in boots and bindings. I wondered if this were going to be the answer to all my pain. I kept my boot liners from 3 years past, all broken in and shaved down in all the right places, stuffed them into the stiff-as-hell Ruler SI boots. I adjusted my bindings to click-in easily every time, in the living room.

My first day on step ins was at the TWSnow Industry Conference in Whistler. I had to keep up. Whistler was SICK, right? Deep snow, legendary terrain, every industry big wig already out on the hill, shredding.

I tied up the boots and walked out to the lift. Within 50 yards of the chair, I knew this was going to suck, my feet were in pain already. Rode the lift into the fog, light rain and eventually into new snow. At the top were writers, reps, shop owners all the industry dregs. I snuck over to the side and stepped in, expecting to hear the tell-tale click and feel confident I could snowboard down the hill. Something was not right, the bindings had fallen out of adjustment and did not work out on the hill as they had in the living room. Rookie mistake, veteran anger.

Eventually, I got a click and with very little confidence in my setup, I started down the hill, already in pain. By the end of the run, down by the hotel, I had decided I did not care to snowboard ever again. I decided the pain was not worth the experience, as it had been before. I also decided that rather than ruin my best memories of snowboarding with shittier new ones, I ought to do something else that didn’t hurt as much… like fishing.

Glebelands is a bond, an understanding and a level of respect between best friends who are more like brothers and brothers who are more like best friends. This bond revolves around a history of snowboarding, laughter, music, art and stupidity mostly taking place around southern Vermont at the three resorts near Manchester: Magic, Bromely and Stratton. Yea, we made shirts and stickers and license plates and had parties and so-on. But at it’s heart, Glebelands is about inspiration, respect and support. It almost didn’t matter what sport we landed in, could have been horseshoes…

Every person who shares this bond cares about and respects the traits that make us each so different, so weird. We all have separate relationships that build on one another. I can’t believe we’re all so close, that we all still relate to each other, share similar experiences. The collective courage, talent and creativity of this group of friends has helped us all succeed. It’s a support network that always seems to come through when it needs to. How would we live without it? Even just a simple email response from someone brings all of the memories of why we are friends flooding back.

The bonds and friendships that snowboarding brought to me are the most important I’ll ever have. It’s a good thing we ran into you guys over the years, otherwise we’d still be riding hard boots all euro-style. I would venture to guess that a bunch of us wouldn’t be where we are today or have accomplished what we have so far had it not been for Glebelands. Even the bad experiences always have a tinge of humor, especially when Glebelands calls you out for doing something stupid.

I was inspired to snowboard by Glebelands. Now-a-days, I am inspired to work harder and be more courageous.

Shem shot a photo of me diving off a cliff, claims it was one of his best. A lot of people have mentioned it to me as a great photo. I would have never have climbed up there had I not been encouraged to. I am too much of a wuss.

I want a big truck.

I don’t want a small or medium truck.

Ranger, Canyon, Dakota and Tacoma, screw you.

F150, Silverado, Ram or more, you will be mine.

I grew up wanting the Fall Guy truck. (Side note: DVD of the entire series released 06.05.07)

I played with Stomper 4X4s in the sand box.

Stompers were big, with big tires and went hard and slow in one direction, without turning or stopping.

Stompers were the best boy’s toy ever.

They required one AA battery and no thought what-so-ever.

Just dirt and a truck.

I have lived in Vermont and Oregon, where everyone jacks them up and drives trucks without reservation.

When I drive my vehicle, my knees and hips should not touch anything on either side of me.

My elbows should have to reach out for a landing spot.

I should never be able to touch my windshield with a seatbelt on.

I cannot deal with things touching me all the time, I need space and power.

I should be able to spill coffee, beer and other materials without worrying in the least.

Mud should belong on my truck.

I should be looking down at you and driving over you if you madden me.

I should have to jump up to get in.

I should be stepping down onto the curb when parking, not lifting my ass up out of the car.

All hybrids look and drive like wussies.

Don’t be mad at me.

Don’t curse me for wanting a truck.

I did not cause high fuel prices or Iraq or global warming.

I am unhappy that trucks may or may not contribute to that stuff, but that won’t stop me from wanting one…or more.

Thank you for putting questions in my head: “Do I NEED a truck?”, “Couldn’t you LIVE without a big truck?”, “It’s SO big.”, “Why do you need a truck that BIG?”.

Reality: I am a big man who admires big trucks. I don’t even care what color they are.

If it’s big and strong, I’d drive a pink one and still kick your ass in it.

As a big man who will always like big trucks, and one who has the means to own one, I may just buy one soon, and drive it happily.

Just letting you know, so you can prepare to keep your comments inside, bottled up.

And keep your horribly lame, hybrid wimp-mobile in the slow lane, for as long as it makes you feel better about yourself.

Dear Simplicity and Function,

You are the foster father of success. Please never leave us, and please continue to enhance just about every moment of my day, beginning with morning rituals.

It is you who allow our plumbing system to pump water and remove waste every single day. Please, never ever fail to prevent a crap backup into our basement. You’re the best.

You facilitate the Apple computer sleep function, and it is you who makes sure my laptop is at the ready every time I wake it up.

You make blogs worth reading.

You defy gravity, and harness the laws of nature in the same breath to make our days better.

My friendly S+F, you make pages worth turning, doors worth opening, rocks worth uncovering, toothpaste worth squeezing out.

Simplicity and Function, it is you who allow us to get so much done in a day. You live at Ikea, most of the time.

Please continue to inspire activity without stifling creativity.

Please continue to be affordable in the context of cars, music devices, communication devices, computing machines, door knobs and time pieces.

Two words: More Google.

S+F, rear your smooth, clean head more often, where it’s needed most: in the classrooms of the world.

Continue to instill confidence in your minions.

Continue to inspire designers and artists of all types to create more with less.

Work your magic on the words, phrases and sentences written on these pages and others.

Simplicity and Function, do your best to make your way into the lives of everyday idiots and people who waste time and space.

I will make it my mission to recognize you indoors and out.

I will see your influence over the natural world, and appreciate the design that time and evolution have provided.

I will try to spend more time connecting with some of your most beautifully designed elements with some of ours: Fly rods with trout.

Thank you for being part of the design of great fly rods that cast lines that carry flies that catch fish.

I’m stoked on your comfort-waist tight-style boxers.

I also appreciate your role in creating great software, some of which we use every single day. We will do our best to continue the trend of simple, functional software.

Simplicity and Function, please, affect everything we do in a positive way and continue to show up in unexpected places from unexpected sources.

We look forward to the Iphone.

I read Seth Godin’s stuff whenever I can. He writes and thinks well and is bold and timely. He has massive influence, can see ahead, and understands more than he writes about. He writes and sells books in a new way about the same stuff he gives away for free on his blog, but just in short snippets.

From Seth Godin: Which brings us to Guy Kawasaki and his new project. I disliked this project from the very first moment I saw the beta. It’s unlikely that it will fail. It will almost certainly generate a lot of traffic and a huge ROI for Guy. For the rest of us, it demonstrates just how easy it is to start a web company today, and just how important it is to create one that makes the world better, not just noisier.

Godin’s blog is great because he comments on current events and ties them to bigger issues in an appropriate way and is always respectful of both “sides” of any negative comment. He doesn’t leave much room for argument, unlike my other favorite blog, Scott Adam’s Dilbert blog.

Scott’s is much more about inappropriate injections on purpose, for comic and social value. He’s a shock blogger and funny about it. I’ve never seen such active commenting as Scott’s blog gets, he drives people to reply with socially relevant and hilarious suggestions.

All blogs are appropriate injections because it’s the reader’s choice to participate. You expect Internet advertising to be an appropriate injection because it’s your choice to look and click on the ad if you want to. Permission marketing, right? Internet advertising is starting to get invasive on the freedom of browsing and reading a website. Kinda like TV advertising became (I was freaking out during the lengthening commercial breaks during the Lost season-ender.)

Lately I have been hella-annoyed (yes) by boisterous mortgage ads on CNN.com or other similar sites and home pages. They seek to capture my attention in the most annoying way possible: With videos and animations that have no purpose but trick me into clicking on the ad and tricks never have a true benefit. Even if you get something later, you were tricked into it, so that negates the benefit.

There’s no benefit or message from watching a flash animation that portrays a silouette dancing uncontrollably and throwing its hands around in the air in a repetitive motion. Then came the video ads that portray random human beings acting really stupid, and then repeat again, again until you click. And now, a couple with enlarged heads and dumb looks, upon rollover they make some move to trick a click.

These ads are starting to bother me so much so that I am avoiding the websites that host them. It also makes me realize the lengths at which seedy advertising companies are willing to go to get a click. The ads are not about benefit, service or quality. These ads are a trick for a click, and people will quickly learn this soon after they succumb to the hell that catches my eye when I visit cnn.com.

Tricks for clicks are inappropriate injections for short-term benefit of only one half of the equation.

If you think about making appropriate injections, even in conversations with friends and clients, it either works or it does not. The rules of the game:

• Only inject if you offer something that will add meaning to the conversation.
• If you’re going to interrupt me, or someone else (who feels important because they are talking) it had better be injected smoothly, with humor or intelligence or hopefully both.
• Don’t make a habit of it, and don’t try to do it more than three times in any one conversation. One of those three will fail to have effect and drag the value of the other two with it.
• After one failed injection, your chance of success is zero for the rest of the day. Shut up, listen and wait your turn. Better yet, send your thought later via email once you’ve listened and judged it’s value completely.
• Remember the most appropriate injections to partake of are the optional ones. Pick your battles and say more with less.